Monday, March 12, 2007
My Cancer: A Very Important Day - Leroy Sievers podcast & essay
... Tomorrow I will undergo the third and final — at least for now — Radio Frequency Ablation procedure. There's one last tumor still alive in my lung and this procedure should kill it. So when the drugs wear off and my head starts to clear in the recovery room, I should have... well, I'm not sure how to put it: No more tumors? NED — what the doctors call "No Evidence of Disease"?
...I know it's more than likely that the cancer will come back somehow, somewhere. But that's a worry for another day. Maybe I don't fear that as much as I used to, because I have new weapons for that day. Another tumor in my lungs? We can do the RFA again. In my spine? Attack it with radiation. And so on. Chemo is still on that list, too, but I have to admit I don't really think of that as a very effective tool any more. But that day may come, too.
I have a hard time looking too far into the future. It does take a while to recover from the RFA. Hopefully, I won't have another collapsed lung. I really don't want to go through that again. Even if that doesn't happen, it takes almost two weeks for the coughing to stop, for the pain to go away. And of course, at some point, I'll have to take the bandage off. That hurts — a lot.
Then I'll need to get to work rebuilding my body. Get my wind back. Start working out regularly again. Try to do many of the things that stopped abruptly back when the doctors told me I had tumors in my brain and lungs. I'm looking forward to that, but I know I have a long way to go before my body will be anything like it was before.
And I've thought a lot about what would happen if it all goes terribly wrong again. What if multiple tumors show up all of a sudden? Another brain tumor? Multiple brain tumors? Well, quite honestly, if that happens, I won't be much worse off than I've been this last year or so. There have been times that looked pretty bleak, and we got through them. I can do that again. So even if my tumor-free time is limited, it's all worth it. Because it will mean that, even for a short time, I have beaten this disease. The monster didn't get me this time.
But I really need to push those thoughts to the back of my mind, and concentrate on this next procedure. Because tomorrow is a very, very important day. ...
... Tomorrow I will undergo the third and final — at least for now — Radio Frequency Ablation procedure. There's one last tumor still alive in my lung and this procedure should kill it. So when the drugs wear off and my head starts to clear in the recovery room, I should have... well, I'm not sure how to put it: No more tumors? NED — what the doctors call "No Evidence of Disease"?
...I know it's more than likely that the cancer will come back somehow, somewhere. But that's a worry for another day. Maybe I don't fear that as much as I used to, because I have new weapons for that day. Another tumor in my lungs? We can do the RFA again. In my spine? Attack it with radiation. And so on. Chemo is still on that list, too, but I have to admit I don't really think of that as a very effective tool any more. But that day may come, too.
I have a hard time looking too far into the future. It does take a while to recover from the RFA. Hopefully, I won't have another collapsed lung. I really don't want to go through that again. Even if that doesn't happen, it takes almost two weeks for the coughing to stop, for the pain to go away. And of course, at some point, I'll have to take the bandage off. That hurts — a lot.
Then I'll need to get to work rebuilding my body. Get my wind back. Start working out regularly again. Try to do many of the things that stopped abruptly back when the doctors told me I had tumors in my brain and lungs. I'm looking forward to that, but I know I have a long way to go before my body will be anything like it was before.
And I've thought a lot about what would happen if it all goes terribly wrong again. What if multiple tumors show up all of a sudden? Another brain tumor? Multiple brain tumors? Well, quite honestly, if that happens, I won't be much worse off than I've been this last year or so. There have been times that looked pretty bleak, and we got through them. I can do that again. So even if my tumor-free time is limited, it's all worth it. Because it will mean that, even for a short time, I have beaten this disease. The monster didn't get me this time.
But I really need to push those thoughts to the back of my mind, and concentrate on this next procedure. Because tomorrow is a very, very important day. ...
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