Monday, November 22, 2004
Life on the Waiting List
Jack Slater, a Seattle high-school teacher and former actor, received a liver transplant exactly two months ago at University of Washington Medical Center. Or, as Slater would say, he was "gifted" with a liver. He and his wife, Deborah Swets, know nothing of the donor. They only know that without a transplant, Slater, 58, would have died. He was diagnosed in 1997 with end-stage liver disease, the result of hepatitis C, and had spent almost two years on the transplant waiting list. Slater wrote of his battle with illness in "Life on the Waiting List," a series of intimate and often irreverent essays for The Seattle Times.
If you're a caregiver, I'd highly recommend reading We'll Get Through This ... Together, which has advice for caregivers and the chronically sick. It begins like this:
As a sometimes irritable and sometimes pleasant but chronically ill man, allow me to suggest to you, the caregiver, some things to say to us, the infirm, along with the countless bowls of soup you prepare and insurance forms you fill out.
It may be a good idea to rehearse this in front of your dog or houseplants. Here we go:
From the caregiver to the sick ...
"Please tell me immediately if there is a new symptom or pain. Bravery is helpful, but a little goes a long way. Let's not wait until ambulances have to get involved."
"I also need to know when you feel good. I can't always tell. If we happen to be in separate rooms please shout it out loud."
From the sick to the caregiver
"What always feels incredibly good is when you stroke my face. Our faces do not get enough attention. Kissing is wonderful, but soft attention to my pale face is not only a spirit lift, it's a face-lift."
"I am trying to be positive. But who in the world can be positive all the time? It's not only impossible, it's boring. I like people with a little salt to 'em. It's tough enough that I am on a low-salt diet."
...
Jack Slater, a Seattle high-school teacher and former actor, received a liver transplant exactly two months ago at University of Washington Medical Center. Or, as Slater would say, he was "gifted" with a liver. He and his wife, Deborah Swets, know nothing of the donor. They only know that without a transplant, Slater, 58, would have died. He was diagnosed in 1997 with end-stage liver disease, the result of hepatitis C, and had spent almost two years on the transplant waiting list. Slater wrote of his battle with illness in "Life on the Waiting List," a series of intimate and often irreverent essays for The Seattle Times.
If you're a caregiver, I'd highly recommend reading We'll Get Through This ... Together, which has advice for caregivers and the chronically sick. It begins like this:
As a sometimes irritable and sometimes pleasant but chronically ill man, allow me to suggest to you, the caregiver, some things to say to us, the infirm, along with the countless bowls of soup you prepare and insurance forms you fill out.
It may be a good idea to rehearse this in front of your dog or houseplants. Here we go:
From the caregiver to the sick ...
"Please tell me immediately if there is a new symptom or pain. Bravery is helpful, but a little goes a long way. Let's not wait until ambulances have to get involved."
"I also need to know when you feel good. I can't always tell. If we happen to be in separate rooms please shout it out loud."
From the sick to the caregiver
"What always feels incredibly good is when you stroke my face. Our faces do not get enough attention. Kissing is wonderful, but soft attention to my pale face is not only a spirit lift, it's a face-lift."
"I am trying to be positive. But who in the world can be positive all the time? It's not only impossible, it's boring. I like people with a little salt to 'em. It's tough enough that I am on a low-salt diet."
...
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